why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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