Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
