I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
