I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
