I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
