i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
