there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Don't EVER smell your tampon
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
