Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Randomize
