Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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