why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
