I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
