I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
