He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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