In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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