I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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