So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
