I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
