so explain again why im purple
no
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
