I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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