Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Randomize
