You were right. It hurts to walk today.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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