Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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