He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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