i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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