Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I see more hoeing in ur future
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