We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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