she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
