I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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