Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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