we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
