What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just pynch a tree in the face
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
