he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
