operation have a gay friend backfired
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
