didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
