Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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