Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
my poor anus
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
