new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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