just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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