I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
