Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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