Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He better not be in your backpack
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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