I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
