i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize