So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
