Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
