i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
