wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
