Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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