I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize