Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
don't judge my taste in strippers
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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