im holly from the hills drunk
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
It's blow job season.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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