My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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