whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
