i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
