spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
