We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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