it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
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