so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize