My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
