I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
