is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
