talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
