i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
