i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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