he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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