I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
