Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
