There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
