He disabled his match.com account in front of me
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
