so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
